Egyptian Poker Face
by Fingolfia
Summary: A bunch of friends associated with the YuGiOh gang get together to introduce the Yamis to the wonders of modern card games. A definite receipe for disaster love, hate, intruige, a large glass of water and rescuing fish!


Collaboration 

Translation - crazy girls writing a story together 

Chapter the First

I don't think Go Fish has ever been abused in such a way before

The pub was small and badly lit, with a few tables littered around the bar. Most were unoccupied, but the one in the far corner two girls were sitting down, playing with a pack of cards.

"Do you have a six?" The first speaker was a girl with long brown hair and dark eyes. Her hair was drawn back in a tight plait, and square rimmed glasses rested on her nose.

The other girl groaned and reluctantly handed over one of her cards. Also brunette, and slightly older than her companion, her hair was much shorter and fell loosely around her face. Pale blue eyes glared at the original speaker.

"Damn you, Folha."

The younger girl smiled triumphantly as she laid a pair of cards down on the table.

"Now, now, Hinaku, be polite."

Hinaku was about to make a cutting and probably rude remark when the door of the bar opened and a group of people walked in, most of whom had…interesting hair. Hinaku gave a squeak and instantly jumped the taller of the two blonde boys, who looked so alike they could be twins.

"Hey guys." Folha said, looking up from her hand.

"Oh, wow!" One of the few girls in the group exclaimed, and peered over her shoulder. "What are you playing?"

Folha's eye twitched slightly. "Hello, Téa." Her voice was one of long endured suffering.

"It's Go Fish! Oh, can I play?"

"No."

"Oh, that's great! Where shall I sit?"

Folha looked desperately at Hinaku, but the other girl was still preoccupied with Marik. Meanwhile, Téa was about to sit down on the chair next to her.

"Oh, no, that chair's broken." Folha lied. "Go sit on the one over there, the one with the sword hanging above it."

Meanwhile, Akeifa quickly sat down on the 'broken' chair, but Téa was too eagerly dealing out cards for herself to notice. That they were halfway through the game and she had no chance of winning didn't seem to faze her.

"So, how have you been?" Akeifa asked Folha.

"Fine." She said, not looking at him.

"Have you thought on my offer?"

Folha sighed. "I didn't need to; the answer is the same as it was the last six times you asked. I will not go out with you, and I will never want to."

Akeifa paused for a second, as the others seated themselves around the table. Téa smiled in her annoying way, her voice bubbly and cheerful.

"OK, Folha, I'm ready. Hinaku…um, I'm not sure that's exactly the sort of thing you should be doing on the floor of a bar. Oh, you're not paying me any attention. Oh well, we'll wait until you've, er…finished."

As Téa sat and hummed happily to herself, Akeifa began tapping Folha's arm. With a sigh, she turned back to him.

"What?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Folha gave him a withering glance. "If you get rid of little miss perfect here."

"Really?" Akeifa exclaimed, reaching for the lighter in his pocket.

"Tempting but no. Hinaku may go after the first blonde that takes her eye, but I'm happily single."

"Oi." Hinaku exclaimed, disentangling herself. "He wasn't the first blonde…well actually he was but he's still my one and only…sort of."

"Here here." Marik agreed, his voice slightly muffled.

"Shut up." Hinaku told him playfully.

"Make me," Marik growled, his sparkling eyes…sparkling.

"OK." Hinaku agreed, and began kissing him again.

"Oh, save me." Folha said, and getting up from her chair, began kicking them. Despite their cries of protest, she didn't stop until they were both up and sitting, though too close together for this to be a huge improvement.

Yami was looking at the table with interest. "What's this card game, Hinak… no, I'll ask Folha. What are you playing?"

"Go fish." Folha replied, picking up her cards. "You want to play? You can use Hinaku's cards; she's not going to want them any more."

"Ooo, and me, and me!" Téa exclaimed. Folha ignored her.

"You playing, Yugi?"

"OK."

The other members of the group asked to play too, and so Folha pulled all the cards back into a pile and began to shuffle, the cards flying through her hands like flying paper birds. About half way round, she remembered that 7 x 7 49 and so there'd only be three cards left. Not a very good game, so she pulled a second deck from her pocket.

"Ah Ha!" Yami said. "I knew you would not attempt to duel the Pharaoh of Egypt without some nefarious cheating scheme!"

Folha threw her empty beer glass at him. It hit him in the forehead with a loud thump, and he fell backwards off his chair. Yugi looked over at him anxiously, but Folha continued to deal as if nothing had happened.

"So, where are Cleo and Kara?" She asked, as she began to deal, her hands moving in a blur over the tabletop.

"Well, Kaiba got a new sports car." Akeifa said at once.

Folha nodded, eyeing him suspiciously. At least it explained everything. "And Cleo?"

Yugi shrugged, pulling Yami up off the floor. "I think there was some sort of Goth convention and she dragged Ryou along with her."

Snorting, Folha finished dealing out the cards and picked up her seven cards. Picking out a pair, she laid them face down on the table. "Hinaku…Hinaku, I'm not talking to you until you stop doing that. Thank you. Right, are you two playing or are you too… preoccupied?"

With a great show of mental debate, Hinaku sat biting her lip, staring into space. Marik tried to murmur in her ear, but whispering is hard when you've got a voice that sounds like nails being dragged down a blackboard and it came out as a very audible "preoccupied." Hinaku giggled, but nodded to Folha, who was sitting with her arms crossed and a look of disgust on her face.

"OK, shall we…"

Suddenly the door burst open and Ryou entered at a run, his face very shell shocked. A blonde girl dressed completely in black, with midnight lips and deep purple eye makeup, that seemed to blossom around her eye like plumage on a peacock.

"Oh, come on, Ryou, it wasn't that bad." She pleaded, but a faint smile twitched at the corners of her mouth.

"I…I…" Ryou seemed unable to speak. Folha got up and put her arms around the shaking boy. There was nothing unseemly about it; they were just good friends and everyone knew it, but Akeifa still looked at his hikari jealously.

"There was a heavy metal band down there." Cleo said, unable to suppress her grin now.

Folha gave the quivering Ryou a quick squeeze. "Don't worry, kid. That rubbish stops ringing in your ears after about twenty minutes."

"It's not rubbish!" Cleo pouted.

"Give me non-traumatizing _singing_ any day." Folha said, sitting a still twitching Ryou down at the table and dealing him and Cleo seven cards. Cleo was still bristling, but sat down next to Ryou. "So, maybe we can start the…"

Whatever Folha was about to say was drowned out by the roar of an extremely large engine. As it died, the door was flung open, and two tall people strode in. Both were brunette, the young man with a long white cloak and startling blue eyes, the woman dressed in leather trousers and a tight fitting purple top. She removed her sunglasses, and looked around her.

"Hey, guys, what are you up to?" Kara asked, tapping the toe of her high-heeled boots on the floor.

"About to play Go fish." Folha answered. "But I don't suppose you and your CEO boyfriend," She made the 'O' deliberately long and sarcastic. "Would want to play?"

Kara grinned. "You just don't want me to play because you know I'll beat you."

"In your dreams."

Kara almost sat down on a chair, then realised it was next to Téa, and moved round the table, avoiding the brunette who was now happily humming 'I'm a little tea pot.'

"OK, I don't think anyone else is going to turn up, so maybe we can start now." Yugi said.

"Can I just check, everyone does know how to play, right?" Cleo asked, looking pointedly at Yami.

"Of course I do!" He exclaimed. "I am the King of Games, and that must include Go fish."

"And of course they played Go fish in ancient Egypt." Kara whispered to Cleo.

"Well, then, Yami, why don't you go first?"

He smirked. "Very well, Hinaku. That shall take me one step closer to defeating you and saving my friends."

Everyone stared at him. "Dude, we're right here." Joey said.

"Yes, but the fish must be saved too, Joey. Saving the world is not just about us. It's about everyone."

Folha stared at him levelly. "Including the fish?"

"Yes, even the fish. I must save them from the shadow realm."

"Right, that's great. Could you hurry up and make your move?"

Yami picked up one of the cards in his hand. "Now I shall summon the all powerful three of hearts!" He threw the card down on the table.

"Oh help. You don't play like that, Yami. Pick your card up." Folha looked at her hand, then turned and smiled sweetly at Yami. "Do you have a three?"

"Yes." He answered, bemused.

Folha waited for a second, then, realizing he wasn't going to give it to her, patiently explained. "You have to give it to me."

Gaping, the Pharaoh exclaimed. "What magic is this? You haven't even played a card yet! What card could be powerful enough to steal it right from my hand?"

Folha blinked, then began banging her head incessantly on the table. Patting her on the shoulder, Cleo explained the rules of Go fish to a puzzled Yami.

"So in playing the monster I started with, I unwittingly aided her in defeating me?"

Cleo nodded a painfully fixed smile on her face.

"Oh no!"

"Don't worry, Yami!" Ryou piped up. "If you believe in your deck, there's nothing you can't do!"

"You're right, Bakura! I have to trust in the heart of the cards!"

Folha, who had momentarily stopped whacking her head, started again.

"Don't encourage them!" Hinaku yelled desperately.

"Oh help, there are two of them." Folha moaned.

"Oh come on, stop with the freak show." Kaiba said.

"Right, O.K, my turn." Hinaku said. She looked at her cards. "Téa, do you have a nine?"

"Why, yes, I do Hinaku. How nice of you to ask." Téa said, then went back to humming 'Over the Rainbow.'

"Give." Hinaku said flatly.

"What's the magic word?"

"Give me the damn card or I'll slit your throat with it." Hinaku answered, even though that's seven and one apostraphed word. (Apostrophed is a word.)

"That's not the right word." Téa said, completely oblivious to the danger she was in.

"Give me the damn card or I'll slit your throat with it, _please._" Hinaku said. Grinning like a demented goldfish, Téa handed it over.

"Why are we friends with these people?" Folha asked Kara. The other girl shrugged.

Marik turned to Cleo. "Do you have a jack?"

"Yep." Cleo passed the card to him.

"Great." Marik lifted the pair of cards high above his head. Cleo, thinking ahead, grabbed a cushion off the chair and placed it in front of Folha.

"Now I shall banish you to the shadow realm!" Marik cried, and slammed the cards down on the desk. He seemed faintly disappointed when they didn't do anything.

It was Ryou's go next, and he asked Kara whether she had a queen. When she replied no, the boy promptly burst into tears.

They played for another few minutes, and then Cleo laid down the last pair.

"Done." She said. "And I've got the most. I win!"

"Finally." Folha exclaimed, glaring at Yami, who looked surprised. "How has the match ended?"

"Everything's been paired up." Kara explained. "Now come on Kaiba, let's blow this pop stand."

As they strode out, Folha yelled after them. "What the hell's a pop stand? And why are your cloaks billowing? There's no wind!"

Yami was slumped over the table, sobbing. "How could I have lost? I can't have lost."

"Argh. They had the right idea. I'm going."

Folha ran out the door. Leaping out of his chair, Akeifa tried to chase after her, but the moment he got out the door, he came reeling back in, a large bruise swelling on his forehead, and the shout of "Get lost, stalker!" ringing in his ears.

"Anyone want another game?" Cleo asked.

They continued to play, with Yami getting more and more depressed as he continued to be flattened, until he ran from the room, wailing. Yugi flashed everyone an apologetic smile and chased after him.

"Maybe we should stop now." Marik said, poking Hinaku.

"Yeah, this is getting a bit boring."

"Well, shall we meet up again tomorrow?" Cleo asked.

"Good idea!" Hinaku said, grinning wickedly. "I've got another game I want to teach you guys. It's time someone introduced you to the real world."


End file.
